English           A+

Math               B

Chemistry      D

History            A

Geography     B

Most parents would immediately be drawn to the D in Chemistry.  “Hey, what’s going on in Chemistry?!  You better buckle down.” They’d likely say.

Here is the thing.  We all have innate tendencies, talents and strengths.  If Chemistry isn’t yours, then all the work in the world will likely make you average in Chemistry at best.  Average is not going to separate you from the crowd, it’s not going to inspire you, and it’s not going to make you remarkable.

If you want to excel, to stand out, and to have fun doing it, then you need to work from your strengths.  You need to invest more in your strengths and, yes, less in your weaknesses.

Here is a secret; the most remarkable people have unlearned the bad habit of working on weaknesses.  In fact, the reason that they became remarkable is because they focused on their innate talent and honed it to a remarkable edge.  The reason they look like they are having fun, and the reason it looks so effortless is because in some ways it is!

Working from our own place of strength is empowering, it’s energizing, and it’s more fun.  Yes, it’s still hard work, but it’s work that pays off.

So I did.

But that remarkable feeling just wasn’t coming.  So with each New Year I went about my elaborate annual goal setting ritual.  I carefully reviewed all my great accomplishments of the past year.  Income? Check… 50 books? Check…journaling?  Check

I visualized my new life, clipped photos and put them in a cool book with my goals and plan that I visualized my children reviewing some day.

After a ridiculous number of cycles of this process I finally figured out that my goals were like ladders leaning against the wrong wall.  It didn’t matter how many times I ascended the ladder, the feeling I was pursuing was going to remain elusive until I got clear on what was most important to me.

Successful people achieve goals, remarkable people achieve the right goals.  And they achieve more of them because they get help that successful people do not in the form of increased internal motivation and external support from people who want to help make something great happen.

How bad is disengagement really?  I’ve seen numerous studies that place workplace disengagement at somewhere near 70-80%.  Some business leaders I’ve encountered get defensive when they hear this.  Not at my business they say.

Let’s look at this objectively.  Disengagement and engagement are a continuum.  There are definitely too few examples of extreme engagement (a reality I am working hard to alter).  We know this because when we ask for examples of truly remarkable organizations (focused service design, engaged employees and a true tribal following) examples don’t seem to jump off our tongues.

So where is everyone else?  It’s hard to say exactly, but consider this; Engaged people are excited.  They can work on something that truly interest them and lose track of time.  I’m not saying that your company is a sweatshop or that your people are miserable.  A good number of people are capable of putting on a good smile and showing up with a decent attitude each day.  And I’m sure that a good number of them are grateful for many things that your company does for them.

But that’s not engagement.  It’s probably mild satisfaction on the higher end.  Engagement is energy; it’s new ideas and action without prompting.  Tom Brady and Bill Belicik are what engagement looks like.  It’s intense caring, interest and effort.  Intense.

Which leads me to a favorite; “Toby, not everyone can be engaged and remarkable!”  Yes they can.  I know because they were when they were born.

…comes when you train with others over time with; A coach, a consistent methodology and peers to push and be pushed by.

Education and learning are not memorization.  Memorization has nothing to do with behavior or capability, and everything to do with disciplined habit changing.

How habits do you already know you haven’t you haven’t made permanent yet? Did it become a habit the moment you first heard the information?  Did hearing it and parroting it back mean you were done with the learning process?  Our education system seems to think so.

What implications does this have for you at work?  Well, if most of your team went to school to get a degree, to get a job, then you can assume that this misbelief in learning is well ingrained.

Which brings us to the next question.  What do you, your team and your business most need to ‘learn’?  Knowing that learning isn’t knowing, but doing, what does your team need most?  Management meetings to inform OR leadership to inspire practice and to train our minds in the use of their own powers?

As I help success minded business people become remarkable it strikes me that a big part of my job is that of an ‘unlearning’ facilitator.  We ‘learned’ so many things in school and throughout life that are simply not true and downright counterproductive.

The rules of success and management are steeped in the age of mass marketing, education and manufacturing.  They’re not all wrong, but sometimes it sure feels like it.

If you’ve become frustrated by your level of effort and diminishing returns, chances are you’re ‘overlearning’ and ready to begin ‘unlearning’.

Knowing our strengths is one of the greatest strengths that you could ask for.  And working in our place of strength over time allows us the opportunity to experience a level of mastery, which is a huge engagement lever.

Do you know what your strengths are?

We trust things that are transparent and easily understood.

Your success, your remark ability, will be in direct proportion to the trust you engender.

I  believe you when you say that you have a big dream and good intentions, but they’re not convinced yet.

The resources you need to realize your dreams are just thirsting for a good adventure, why are you keeping yours ‘top secret’.

Living and leading from your deepest values will awaken feelings in many around you and will enlist their support.

Leaders are called inspirational because they ‘inspire’, they light fires within their followers.

Is your fire lit yet?

Mom and Dad oscillated between tears and suppressed laughter as our girls asked important questions about what would happen to Pinkie and what does dying mean?

It was the first death experience that our girls were old enough to begin to understand.  And it reminded me that death is a vital part of remark ability.  Death marks the end of our lives here and the expression of our purpose.  It’s a sobering reminder that we are here for a reason and that time is ticking.

Did Pinkie fulfill her purpose?  I honestly don’t know, but I hope that her passing makes you honestly answer your own questions; How is YOUR journey going?  Will it be remarked about?  Emulated?

When people know that their leader’s quest includes their welfare, they trust and they commit their support.

As a leader, understanding your deepest values is the first step to earning the trust and support of many great people.

What could you accomplish with the right supporters behind you?